This last year has been quite a ride. During this time I have learned much about my faith, my self and just life in general. I have had more questions in my mind then ever before (and that is saying a lot!) and I have been so back and forth on my thoughts and feelings. Now looking back I see that I have learned much in this year! Just thought I would share some of what I have learned and am learning!
1: This World Is Not My Home
For years now I have felt without a home. Drifting from place to place and never truly belonging. I have so longed for a place of my own. A place where I would never need worry about leaving again, where I could stay forever if I wanted or leave if I wanted. A place I could go and not leave for a month straight if I chose and just not see anyone. But I have learned that life won't ever be that perfect. There will always be responsibilities on earth that are placed on us despite what we want. If you have a house, you have to pay bills, to pay bills you have to have a job, etc... I have been so reassured by the words- This world is not my home.
Just knowing that I have a home in heaven can so lift a burden. When I am tired or overwhelmed, those words can be such a perfect reminder.
This world is not my resting place.
2: Trust In the Lord
This one has been hard. I am still learning it. Each day I get up and am faced with anxiety and fears. Perhaps my childhood is responsible in part for all my fears and perhaps it is in part just my personality and flesh. I fear losing another loved one, and that fear has made it hard for me to love. To love is a very hard thing! Loving completely is something I struggle with because with love comes pain. But it has been harder for me to try to not love. Sometimes loving is easier, other times it is much harder. But I am learning to trust God, trust Him with my fears. Trust Him with my future and family.
3: I Cannot Save the World
This has been a struggle my whole life! As a child I would lay awake at night praying for every single person, saying that though I didn't know everyone's names, He did. I used to ask my Mom, "Why? Why can't everyone believe?". I sorrow for the world and it's sin. I still struggle daily with this! This comes into trusting God, knowing that though I am weak, "He is strong." I cannot save the world, but Jesus can. I can only pray for those struggling, whether they struggle spiritual or physically. I can be there when I can and if given the opportunity I can tell them about Jesus. I can plant the seed, or water the seed, but only God can give the increase. This comes under learning to trust in God.
4: I am Not Perfect
There. I am not. I am a perfectionist, I expect perfection from myself and try to hide when I fail. I want others to see me as perfect. I am not. Perhaps my biggest fault is pride. I know I am not perfect, but I try my best to make everyone think I am. I am weak, I struggle, I have temptations and burdens. I fail every day. No. I am not perfect. Slowly, very slowly, I am learning that I need to accept me. I am learning to look at myself through Jesus' eyes. Something I tell myself to do for others, but never crossed my mind before to do it for myself. Jesus loves me. He died for me. He has washed me and made me a new creature. I am my biggest critic and it is a daily struggle, I hate failing.
So, just a few things I am learning. I am learning to trust God, with all things. By far the hardest lesson I have ever learned! I am very controlling, because I hate feeling out of control. Learning to trust God and let Him be in control has been hard and I still fight Him on it. By God's grace I am learning to grow in faith. I am taking baby steps and at times I have to sit down and crawl for fear that I will fall. But God is here holding my hand and leading me everyday.
I don't post often mostly out of fears, my insecurities. Mostly I fear being misunderstood or saying something wrong. Please bear with me friends and family, I know I have very much to learn.
P.S. I updated my About Me page, click here to check it out!
Saturday, November 19, 2016
I got tagged awhile ago by LaKaysha for the favorite quotes tag. I am not sure what to post since though I have favorite quotes, it seems when I am supposed to do something like this I forget them all... :P Anyways....here it goes... ;)
I'm alone, yet not alone. God's the Light that will guide me home. With His love and tenderness, leading though the wilderness. And wherever I may roam, I'm alone, yet not alone. - Alone Yet Not Alone sung by Joni Eareckson Tada
O safe to the Rock that is higher than I, my soul in it's conflict and sorrows would fly; So sinful, so weary, Thine, Thine would I be; Thou blest "Rock of Ages", I'm hiding in Thee. - Hymn, I don't remember the title, but love the words!
Lord clasp my faltering hand in Thine, to weak I am to walk alone. - From my favorite song Confidence.
"You can't get a cup of tea big enough or a book long enough to suit me." C.S. Lewis
"One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar." Helen Keller
"Either write something worth reading, or do something worth writing." Benjamin Franklin
Oh, they say when you marry in June, your a bride all your life, and the bridegroom who marries in June, gets a sweetheart for a wife. - Seven Brides for Seven Brothers
"I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life. " - Abraham Lincoln
"You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and, smarter than you think" - Christopher Robin from Winnie the Pooh
"Now, think of the happiest things, It's the same as having wings." - Peter Pan
"The very things that hold you down are going to lift you up." -Timothy Mouse, Dumbo
"No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep believing, the dream that you wish will come true." - Cinderella
"You're never too old to be young." - Snow White
So there are a few of my favorites! I am not going to tag anyone, but if you want to go ahead and comment with a link so I can read it! ;)
Hope you enjoyed!