So today I turn nineteen years old...sometimes I think about how old I am and feel young and other times I feel old...but today I just feel...content, where I am supposed to be in life. After years of feeling such anticipation, excitement and fear of what the future might bring as I have every other year, I feel peace with where I am and not a longing for something new, as I have for so long. I am not saying that in the future I won't feel discontentment or fear what the future might hold, but right now, this very minute, I feel content and at peace with my life.
So with all that I have been thinking about what goals I want to make, things I want, some of which like getting married and having children, is out of my hands, but there are still things I am passionate about that I wish I could do more of/for. So I decide to make a list of the things I wish I could dedicate more time to and try to make time for them throughout the year.
First and foremost I wish I could spend more time in the Word, more time studying, learning and reflecting. I want to spend more time learning and living for my Savior, Jesus. I read the Bible quite regularly, usually at least a little everyday and I almost always keep a notebook/journal on hand where I record my thoughts and what I read. But as often as I read the Bible, there are quite a few days a week that I just read a few verse real quickly before running to do something else.
What I am hoping is that I can spend an hour or so a day just reading the Word with my full concentration.
This is one important part of my life! I don't know what I would do without each and every member of my family. I love my family! I wish I could spoil them all, giving them whatever they may have want of. Recently I just got back from a vacation and while on this vacation all I could think about was what I would buy each person if I had the money. Family is something I want to promote, I want the world to know just how great a real family is. I wish with all my heart I could take all the orphans of this world and show them the love and joy found only in a Christian's home.
This one you may have guessed. Music has been apart of my life since I was born. I grew up with the sound of my mother singing while working about the house, my brother playing his guitar while I played or visiting Grandpa and Grandma's to hear Grandpa play the piano or going to my uncles to hear my uncle singing or all of us joining in. Music is apart of my heritage. I love music, playing it, listening to it and I LOVE when we get together and sing! I don't have the talent of so many of my family to just sit down and play a song I heard, but how I wish I did! It just isn't the same playing with notes, you cannot capture the sound of playing by ear. Though perhaps if I knew more, had more lessons I could learn to...who knows??? One thing is, I want to continue learning more about music, about composition and songwriting.
Now this is something I know next to nothing about. I have always thought though that if I could learn how to sew I would love it. I recently, in the last year, have bought myself a sewing machine, but have not really taken time to try to learn to use it. I am hoping to make time for it....somehow...
So, I would like to have a "plan" for my posts. I feel like I need something to write about and I would like ideas. I have thought of crocheting or knitting to be my theme, but I honestly don't "enjoy" those to the point of wanting to post about them. Cooking and baking sounds like fun, but I am not sure as to how to go about it. I feel that I don't have time to be a committed writer., which seem silly when others who write seems sooo much busier than I !
Another thing I want to devote more time to, but haven't been able to. I love the idea of having a written schedule up so I can know I have time for things. One thing is that Greek is something I should take time everyday for, but I just don't know how that would work if I want to try to devote time to other things as well...???
Anyways, just a few things I wish I could fit into my life. I feel as if I hardly even scraped the surface of the things I want to do. I think I try to do to much and in the end never get any of it done. I work till 2 P.M. three days a week and my boss just told me I might have a change in my schedule and perhaps be working five days a week. She said it wouldn't be for a couple months or quite a few months depending on a few things, before that actually happens. I am not worried about it, excited more than anything, I mean...whatever happens, happens.
I guess my main goal is to fill my days with more productive things, more living for others than myself. I want to be able to learn and continue learning and find something I am passionate about to really pursue if I do not marry in the next few years. (Which I think I won't.) I want to have a calling, something I feel is my purpose.
So what are your thoughts?